Josey had an excellent income, but somehow she always spent all of her money.
When we dug a little deeper,she revealed that when she was eleven years old, She remembers being at a Chinese restaurant with her parents and her sister. Her mom and dad were having yet another bitter argument about money. Her dad was standing up, screaming and slamming his fist on the table. She remembers him turning red, then blue, then falling to the floor from a heart attack. She was on the swim team at school and had CPR training, which she administered, but to no avail. Her father died in her arms. And so, from that day forth, Josey’s mind linked money with pain.
It’s no wonder then that as an adult, she subconsciously got rid of all of her money in an effort to get rid of her pain. It’s also interesting to note that she became a nurse.Why? Is it possible that she was still trying to save her dad? At the course, we helped Josey identify her old money blueprint and revise it. Today she’s well on her way to be-coming financially free. She’s also not a nurse anymore.
Not that she didn’t enjoy her job. It’s just that she was in the nursing profession for the wrong reason. She’s now a financial planner, still helping people, but this time one-on-one, to understand how their past programming runs every aspect of their financial lives. Let me give you another example of a specific incident, one that’s closer to home. When my wife was eight years old, she would hear the clanging bells of the ice cream truck coming down the street. She would run to her mom and ask for a quarter. Her mom would reply, “Sorry, dear, I don’t have any money. Go ask Dad. Dad’s got all the money.” My wife would then go ask her dad. He’d give her a quarter, she’d go get her ice cream cone, and she was a happy camper. Week after week, the same incident would repeat itself. So what did my wife learn about money?
First, that men have all the money. So once we got married,what do you think she expected of me? That’s right: money.And I’ll tell you what, she wasn’t asking for quarters anymore!Somehow she’d graduated. Second, she learned that women don’t have money. If her mom (the deity) didn’t have money, obviously this is the way she should be. To validate that way of being, she would sub-consciously get rid of all her money. She was quite precise about it too. If you gave her $100, she’d spend $100. If you gave her $200, she’d spend $200. If you gave her $500, she’d spend $500, and if you gave her $1,000, she’d spend $1,000.Then she took one of my courses and learned all about the art of leverage. I gave her $2,000, she spent $10,000! I tried to explain, “No, honey, leverage means we’re the ones who are supposed to get the ten thousand dollars, not spend it.”Somehow it just wasn’t sinking in. The only thing we ever fought about was money. It almost cost us our marriage. What we didn’t know at the time was that the meanings each of us attributed to money were radically different. To my wife, money meant immediate pleasure (as in enjoying her ice cream). I, on the other hand,grew up with the belief that money was meant to be accumulated as the means to create freedom. As far as I was concerned, whenever my wife spent money,she wasn’t spending money, she was spending our future freedom. And as far as she was concerned, whenever I held her back from spending, I was taking away her pleasure in life. Thank goodness we learned how to revise each of our money blueprints and, more importantly, create a third money blueprint specifically for the relationship.
Does all this work? Let me put it this way; I've witnessed three miracles in my life:
- The birth of my daughter.
- The birth of my son.
- My wife and I not fighting about money anymore!
Statistics show that the number one cause of all relationship breakups is money.
The biggest reason behind the fights people have about money is not the money itself, but the mismatch of their “blueprints.” It doesn’t matter how much money you have or don’t have.
If your blueprint doesn’t match that of the person you’re dealing with, you’ll have a major challenge. This goes for married couples, dating couples,family relationships, and even business associates. The key is to comprehend that you are dealing with blueprints, not money. Once you recognize a person’s money blueprint, you can deal with your partner in a way that works for both of you.You can begin by becoming aware that your partner’s money files are probably not the same as yours. Instead of getting upset, choose understanding.
Do your best to find out what’s important to your partner in the arena of money and identify his or her motivations and fears. In this way, you’ll be dealing with the roots instead of the fruits and have a good shot of making it work. Otherwise, no way, Jose!
One of the most important things you will learn, should you decide to attend the Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar, is how to recognize your partner’s money blueprint as well as how to create a brand-new blueprint between both of you that helps you as partners get what you really want. It is truly a blessing to be able to do this, as it alleviates one of the biggest causes of pain for most people.
Steps for change: Specific Incidents
Here’s an exercise you can do with your partner. Sit down and discuss the history each of you brings to your thoughts about money—what you heard when you were young, what was modeled in your family, and any emotional incidents that occurred. Also, find out what money really means to your partner. Is it pleasure or freedom or security or status? This will assist you in identifying each other’s current money blueprint and may help you discover why you might be dis-agreeing in this arena. Next, discuss what you want today not as individuals, but as a partnership. Decide and agree upon your general goals and attitudes with regard to money and success. Then create a list of these attitudes and actions you both agree to live by and write them down. Post them on the wall, and if ever there’s an issue, gently, very gently, remind each other what you decided together when you were both objective, unemotional, and outside the grip of your old money blueprints.
AWARENESS: Consider a specific emotional incident you experienced around money when you were young.
UNDERSTANDING: Write down how this incident may have affected your current financial life.
DISASSOCIATION: Can you see this way of being is only what you learned and isn’t you? Can you see you have a choice in the present moment to be different?
DECLARATION: Place your hand on your heart and say...
"I release my non supportive money experiences from the past and create a new and rich future.”
Touch your head and say...
“I have a millionaire mind!"
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